On this episode, we're going to go over everything I was able to achieve on my 11-day trip to Abuja, Makurdi and Jos. I had already outlined everything that I needed to achieve on this trip. Remember? The things I have to do first of all in Abuja, one is to see my lawyer.
And then I also have to see Shibi. Shibi is this girl, she's a lawyer. She wants to start a podcast.
She's been wanting to start a podcast for a long time. We met on Instagram. She lives in Abuja and I intend to see her in person and really discuss, feel her out, see what's on her mind.
Because law is an important aspect of life. And I think if we have a podcast and a network that really focuses on law, especially with somebody who's passionate about it, hosting it, I think it's very, very likely that people would find a lot of value in it. I had clear intentions for Abuja.
See my lawyer, see the other lawyer, Shibi, the one that wants to start a podcast, feel her out, see if she's a good fit for the network. But then the thing with the lawyer, she just couldn't get my time. She couldn't make time for me at all.
I only had three days to spend in Abuja before going down to Makurdi. And then on Thursday, I had arrived in Abuja on Thursday. So by Monday morning, I headed down to Makurdi.
And then also after Abuja, I go to Makurdi. Yeah, my mom and siblings are. But also I go to Makurdi for MakFest in particular, because the event MakFest holds in Makurdi and I need to do some groundwork.
By November last year, we still were not sure if we were going to do the event. So this preparation for this year's event gives me a lot of hope and optimism. Before I even got home, the first meeting I had was about MakFest with a guy called Bigger.
So Daniel introduced me to Bigger via WhatsApp and said he runs some kind of event. But it's a high energy community type event, like what we're trying to do with MakFest. And, you know, he has some experience in it and we could find a way to collaborate.
I should just speak to the guy, I just feel him out. So I had a meeting with that guy. Me, him and my brother Felix sat together at Palm Garden Hotel.
He does his own event on the 25th of December on Christmas Day and ours is on the 30th. We just concluded that, you know, how we are going to help each other. And I believe that was a successful meeting, because after that I went home.
My siblings, whom I had not seen since my dad's funeral, crazy. So it was a lot of fun to be in the house again. You know, I went through old pictures.
Old pictures of, you know, albums when we were young. I've been craving those things, to be honest. I didn't have access to the house when I went back last December, because they were not around.
But seeing it now is dope. Basically, the trip to Makadi is like the MakFest preparation. Something else that I was supposed to do was to handle social media and those type of things.
So I made arrangements to meet with this influencer guy, Apav, they call him in Makurdi. But my schedule was too tight. I couldn't make time.
But I couldn't make time for Apav. Somebody that I did need to see is Chivir. If you don't know who Chivir is, she runs the social media for Good Living Network.
So she lives in Makurdi. And I had to hold a meeting with her, because transitioning to a network, not just one podcast again, I think it requires a different scope of work. And I had a conversation with her.
Ah, I wish I had recorded it, but I didn't. But we had a solid conversation about how she can use her skills and help us with Makfest, and also how we're going to transition our posts and things like that, moving forward. So we turned our Instagram from Good Living Podcast to Good Living Network.
That's what is showing on the Instagram now. Same with the TikTok. I don't know.
I can't change the Facebook one. I don't know what's wrong with it. It doesn't change automatically.
But you post on Instagram, you post directly to Facebook. But you change them on Instagram, it doesn't change on Facebook. I'm looking for it to change on Facebook.
I can't even find it. So that was Makurdi, basically. Oh, yeah.
Regarding Makfest, we are looking at alternative advertising methods. Not Wisha, me. We're just discussing advertising, but I'm always thinking of ways that could be subtle and yet very effective.
And there's this eatery, Food Domain, one of the most popular restaurants in Makurdi. They have TVs inside. And I know advertising on digital screens are not a big deal.
They're not a thing in Makurdi. It's not a thing. And we thought about billboards, but seeing that it's going to be election season, you know, we may be out-competed in the billboards and all of that.
Maybe harder to get those. So I thought about digital screen advertisements. You know, when we put out our flyer for the event, it will show on the screens of indoor places like Food Domain and the likes.
So me and Felix went to eat here one afternoon and after I finished eating, I saw the manager. Well, I called him the manager, but he's the one like running the place and telling the people where to stop and making sure everything is moving smoothly. And when I said hello to him, I greeted him and everything, and I told him what the idea was that we had for the event in December.
And, yeah, I'd like to explore the opportunity of advertising our event on their screens, especially the ones that are not used to play anything. You know, if you can come to an agreement. He said, OK, yeah, it's not always in his hands, but he was struggling to understand what I was trying to explain to him.
You know, nothing was struggling, but he didn't get it one time. One time, I had to further explain exactly what I was trying to do, you know, before he got the idea. So it's not something that he was used to.
And he admitted it to me as well. This is not something that you are usually used to. So it did take some time.
I said, cool, take your time. I took his number and I've not got a text message. I need to get back to that guy.
And then after Mackurdi, I go to Joss. Joss, there are two people I want to meet regarding the podcast network, one of which is Cush, the host of A Peek Behind the Rainbow. And his podcast is a bit touchy because of the LGBTQ relationship it has.
I had to have conversations with Cush because on a serious note, business-wise, he's hosting a podcast that, one, is controversial, but I think it's kind of essential. You know, people need to learn some of these things. And I spoke to him to try and feel out where he was on the kind of podcast he wanted to create.
You know, what kind of things he would leave out, what kind of things he's passionate about speaking. I don't understand where the line can be drawn, or if there's a line that can be drawn. I want to ask you, is there something that you would consider obsolete, or something, a topic that you should probably not even bring up that could be very risky? Right now, I don't know off the top of my head.
There are certain things that I don't consider useful advocacy or helpful advocacy for queer people. Certain things are just there, that's why. But there was this part of our conversation that, after listening to that, you know, bulk of talk, I understood that, okay, yeah, this guy has some substance he can throw at us.
But there are certain things that I would leave out that are real. Even the predatory behavior in the queer community. I would talk about that.
Yeah, I'm not going to shy away from that. Men are predatory. You're highlighting the problems.
Exactly. Though I know that people would like to focus on that, but I can walk around the conversation, because it happens everywhere. It happens for straight people, everybody.
But sometimes, even when I get advances from younger people, I always tell them, I'm 10 years older than you, chill out. Look for somebody around your age who they find offensive, because they feel like, the way when they have been with somebody your age or older than you, good luck. But not me.
But that breeds a lot of predatory behavior. And that also leads men to forget that they can be victims in situations. So a lot of young men, even the ones that are 18, 17, assume that they're doing this consciously.
But when there's a power imbalance, which is something that happened to me, especially when I think I was telling you that whole story about the stuff that happened in the office with my boss, which was pretty much posted, it was because of the power imbalance. That was the reason why I did not behave the way I would have behaved. Yeah, if you were in a conducive environment for that kind of abuse.
Exactly. And secondly, the reason why when it was happening, I did not react violently to it. I just tried to protect myself, but I did not attack.
I wasn't in defense. If it was any random person, we would just go fight. But the power imbalance, and that power imbalance affects this creates breed room for this predatory relationship to be very successful.
Because even the younger person, when they feel disrespected, when they feel controlled, they can't see anything. They just feel like, oh, this person is way older than me. I don't want to disrespect him.
Or they have more money. They are footing my bills and all of that extra stuff. But anyway, let's drive the conversation to where you want to drive it to.
This guy has some substance that we can work with for the foreseeable future. And that was impressive to me. One other thing that brought us here, which I wish I had had a meeting with the lawyer before coming here so that I can have a clear understanding of what we're trying to do.
It's difficult to share money that has not come yet. But in business, it is very essential that you create agreements on ground before money comes, create concrete agreements. And coach being a smart person also knows how important it is.
So we had to discuss money before any money starts coming in. But I think it was a pretty straightforward discussion. One thing I think we should discuss, you know, it's difficult to share imaginary funds.
But I would still like to give you a basic idea. Of what our contract would look like. I know there's an industry standard for things like this, you know.
But my own desire is that we try to do as much 50-50 as we can do. 50-50 streams, IP, books, whatever we make of your podcast would be 50-50, you know. And I think that is more like a partnership.
And that's what I'm interested in having, a partnership. I already have podcasts that are my brainchild, where I'm sourcing the stories from elsewhere. And the other different types of ideas that I can say, okay, this belongs to the network wholly.
But other people's expertise being told on their stories, being told on the podcast, I think they deserve to be partners. The only thing that I think should be, because obviously I have a network and a company to run. So the only thing that I think would not be 50-50, in my opinion, would be sponsorships.
For example, that is mostly because of the efforts that the network would put in to go and get those sponsorships. And the cost also for publicity. I think that is what we get back for putting that effort and those costs.
It does make sense. So if you hear that your podcast is sponsored now by somebody, yes, you get something out of it. But it's not going to be 50-50.
Maybe this time, it will be something much different. I mean, we have this on record. So overall, I'll say it was a successful meeting.
And that was something that I was able to check off my list. Having just met Kush, I had to see Exhibit, podcast listener, my guy. And then after Exhibit, I played football with Kalistuz at Cruise Yard.
Yeah, Cruise Yard, the pitch at Cruise Yard. I played football with Kalistuz. And that was the only time I was able to see him.
Kalistuz is friends with Lucas, which is another podcaster I wanted to see. I remember when I met him, I shook him. I was like, Alpha, I was looking forward to seeing you.
And he didn't believe me at first, you know. And I was really looking forward to seeing him. But unfortunately, I just didn't have time.
I was just doing so many things. And to be honest, I didn't plan like a meeting. But I really didn't know.
There was Idoga and so many other people. But I was able to see Dosie. At least I know because I'm a woman.
But my friend, Dosie, I knew from Makodi. She lives in Jersey now. She sells bags.
And so I paid her a visit. And before you know it, it was Friday night and I was leaving on Saturday. And Black, the girl from TikTok that I was supposed to see, we could only fix a meeting for Saturday morning.
So I could leave Saturday afternoon to Abuja from Jersey. And so, we met. Okay, right.
I thought I heard you right. Okay. Let me reach you on something first of all.
My podcast, when I record sometimes, when I do like some storytelling episodes, I like to get audio clips from the actual moments of the story. So if you don't mind some of our conversation, or all of it to be recorded. Yeah, I've already started.
Ah, okay. I will sue you. You shall be sued.
But why am I recording without my content? I'll think about it. With Black, the conversation is a bit strange because what I liked, like I said, was her ability to study and deliver what she has learnt. And I think that is the ethos of good living in terms of going to find truth and fact and then coming to deliver it to people in a way that they can understand and feel something.
And that was what she used to do in her TikTok videos. In speaking with her, I think I was able to understand which topics were closer to her. I don't know, maybe I preempted it by bringing it up first as she said it was one of her interests in the first call we had when I was still in Lagos.
But when I brought it up, she was very passionate about it as well and she went on to speak. You cannot convince me for the life of me that somebody is superior to me because they have a penis. There are still men walking on the face of this earth that believe that by virtue of being men alone, they are superior to women.
Not because of any other thing, nothing moral, nothing intellectual, nothing, no other basis of superiority other than the fact that they are men. As somebody that, specifically as somebody who, I don't know how it is in other parts of Nigeria, I'm not as well travelled, but then if you go to the north, for example, it's okay now, now women are allowed to work, now women are allowed to vote, now women are allowed to drive, what are families still fighting for? Now women do this, there is equality in the work space, there isn't by the way, what are families still fighting for? If you say that it's patriarchy, that is your problem. The patriarchy has successfully been dismantled, what are families still fighting for? There are girls in Kano that do not have bodily autonomy.
There are 12, 13 year olds in northern Nigeria that do not get to decide what they do with their bodies, because they were married off when they were 9 or 10, and they will tell you, if you go to health, primary health care clinics, or whatever, and you try to preach safe birthing or safe sex procedures to them, their husbands would not let them take contraceptives, their husbands would not let, these people already have, they probably already have VVFs, these are children that need to be protected. So, while I like to have a balanced view of things, at the end of the day, there is no human being without their biases. So, you will excuse me, or you will forgive me, if I get a little overly passionate about the fact that there are girls who are going through these things, and there are people who have the chest to come and say that, oh no, it's only new wave feminism, and it's bad because these people hate men, and if they hate men, go.
As somebody who doesn't even hate men, if they hate men, go. Have men not done things over the years that made them open to the hate? Do they not? And with that, I deemed that a successful meeting. I had met Black, I had met Black, I had met Kush, we had both had successful meetings, I had met a couple of my guys, and, you know, I haven't found time to put a workout in.
And then, I had experience just for the first time as well. It was a pretty chill city, you know, everything is, you know, very chill, very chill town. For that, I reduced my blood pressure, to be honest, except, the hotel me and Fede stayed in.
I'm not saying the hotel at all, on its own, is bad, though. But they first put us in a room that had no windows. You know, can you imagine that? A room without windows.
Even the bathroom had no windows. And the A.C. was inconsistent. Don't worry, it's okay.
It's okay. It's not okay. You know, they just need to do better.
I mean, the staff were amazing. This is the thing. When I'm talking about certain places, I don't want people to lose their jobs or anything.
You know? At Stefan's hotel, like, the staff are good, amazing. The guy that helped us there, even when the water heater wasn't working, he would get water in a bucket. Hot water in a bucket.
But I didn't expect that that was what I was going to see. After that first day in that room, I said, Nvalo, we cannot do this thing. We will seek now.
So you mean if we, whatever we do in this room now, it's not going anywhere? No, no. No, no. It cannot work.
So we changed rooms into one that had two windows, thankfully. My final few days in Nabilia would be to complete whatever it is that I do not get to complete while I'm here. Right now.
The thing is, I go back into Abuja with workload. I go back into Abuja on a Saturday. I was to leave on Monday afternoon.
And I had not seen my lawyer. I had not seen Shibi. I had a hair appointment.
And so I came in on Saturday and went straight to do my hair thing overnight. And I came back on Sunday to the house. That was when I saw my cousins and then we went for that Igbo event.
There was this Igbo fest. Yeah, they did that old playground in Abuja in Wuse. But I still haven't seen Jemima or Shibi.
I was in talks with Jemima and it was looking like maybe it's a work call we get. So I left that one there. But with Shibi, I already agreed that I would see her on the Monday, the following day before I travel.
The other one, it would be black. We would just have a meeting and then after that, I'd just be on my way. So we had set that meeting for 1pm or 2pm because my flight was 3.40pm. And then Shibi texts me around 12pm asking if we could move the meeting to 3pm.
The flight is 3 something. So I couldn't make it. I told her I couldn't make it.
We'll have to do it virtually. Same way, my guy is happy that I couldn't meet him just we agreed that we'll do our meeting virtually. So that's how I couldn't see two lawyers.
With Jemima, she texted me on my way to the airport saying she's sorry but her schedule is too overwhelming now for her to take on whatever I was bringing. So she was going to recommend somebody for me who was going to text me and take over my case. Now my problem is I've given her all that tea about my personal case.
Now I have to tell all of that to a new lawyer that is a stranger because Jemima is my elder sister's friend. So she's like family. I've known her for years.
But this one now is a new person. I don't even know her skill level or expertise. Anyway, with my needs I think any lawyer would do to be honest.
But that has been the journey. Now coming back I was able to have that conversation with Shibi a few days ago. Shibi, is it 2023 you first texted me on Instagram? 2023? No, let me tell you something.
I think the moment is I was I've had a few financial issues. My money has been stolen like three times because I wanted to change my phone for the podcast. I wanted to get a camera.
I wanted to get good lighting and all of that. But since I couldn't get those things, I couldn't start the podcast. I don't have them now but my friends are willing to help me out.
So I was just asking them. Like I've been podcasting for too long. So I think I might start from somewhere.
She was honest with me as to why she couldn't start. But I was really curious about it. I used to always say cold feet, cold feet but she really didn't have the facilities.
We're going to see if we get that lawyer podcast even if we start it. I don't think it's going to air this year even if we do something like that. I'm recruiting an editor from Upwork.
Somebody who I can just dump a full season of raw files for and give him some guidelines and just be. That would take a lot of stress off me. So overall in terms of plans for the network, everything is going the way I expect it to go.
Everything is going the way I expect it to go and there are a few changes here and there we're having to adapt but so far it's going according to plan. It's taking a lot from me physically, I'm not going to lie. But a time is coming.
We're seeing everything come to fruition. I think it's amazing. Next episode will be more updates on how the network is going regarding the sponsorships, regarding the editor and regarding Shivia and the new podcast we're going to add.
And also Nigerian weight loss stories. We're still collecting stories for that podcast. If you know somebody who has lost weight and wants to share their story of weight loss, we're taking them.
Have a nice one. Bye.